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mayonose:

Playing around before work

mayonose:

Playing around before work

muerteconleche:

gmathis67:

subtle-queen:

charmingpplincardigans:


"Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones that do call him the 。*:★Kawaii Soldier★:*。. He’s an adorable ghost, you’ll never find him.”


I hate ya’ll

This is just wrong.

mandokamuscular

muerteconleche:

gmathis67:

subtle-queen:

charmingpplincardigans:

"Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones that do call him the *:★Kawaii Soldier★:*. He’s an adorable ghost, you’ll never find him.”

I hate ya’ll

This is just wrong.

mandokamuscular
Pompeii (Gender Pitched) by Bastille

riningear:

Pompeii 
(pitched to different “gender”)

Sorry for low-tier quality, I just really wanted to hear what this would sound like. 

thedoctorknows:

sebastillestans:

i was watching the first avenger and wondering how Bucky knew Steve was getting his ass kicked in the back of some random alley behind a movie theatre

like does he just check alleyways whenever he’s walking down a street to see if Steve’s started another fight he can’t finish

the answer is probably yes

headcanon that, even when brainwashed, Bucky still stops at alleyways and looks down them to find nothing

and he never knows what he’s looking for

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad:

    Why the hell did you put a comma there?

  • Dad:

    Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

  • Dad:

    Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

  • Dad:

    Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

  • Dad:

    Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

  • Dad:

    Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

  • Dad:

    I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

  • Dad:

    Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

  • Dad:

    Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

  • Dad:

    Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

  • Dad:

    It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

  • Dad:

    Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

  • Dad:

    *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

  • Dad:

    My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

  • Dad:

    Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

  • Dad:

    Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

  • Dad:

    I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

  • Dad:

    Fuck the government.

  • Dad:

    Fuck the school board.

  • Dad:

    Close the door.

  • Dad:

    Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

  • Dad:

    I love puns.

  • Dad:

    People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

  • Dad:

    Please shut up.

  • Dad:

    Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

  • Dad:

    I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

  • Dad:

    I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

  • Dad:

    You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

  • Dad:

    Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

  • Dad:

    I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

  • Dad:

    If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

  • Dad:

    They act like I care what they think.

  • Dad:

    I hate homework.

  • Dad:

    I have decided to become a politician.

  • Dad:

    What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

sabstelsey:

sometimes I really love rachel.

bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page

stray-arrows:

datagoddess:

This is a good reason to always carry sidewalk chalk in the car.


no, man, the person who wrote it was probably so pissed off they went inside just to buy a pack.

stray-arrows:

datagoddess:

This is a good reason to always carry sidewalk chalk in the car.

no, man, the person who wrote it was probably so pissed off they went inside just to buy a pack.

class-snuggle:

My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.

ewbuckybarnes:

winter soldier vs. cars:

expectations: 

image

reality:

image

To all the Tumblr users who tend to use tags very liberally:

thejadedkiwano:

Let’s play a game.

Type the following words into your tags box, then post the first automatic tag that comes up.

you

also

what

when

why

how

look

because

never

#and your name was?

#also LOL

#WHAT IS THE TIMELINE OF SPIDER-MAN VS. THE AVENGER

#When Animals Attack

#why am I so attracted to a manequin?

#how can i obsess over this thing?

#look at all the fucks brittany gives

#because this going back and forth shit it wearing on me

#i believe that we should all either never sleep

tiktokofoz:

I hate how this website searches for ways to hate on every creator in the world. It’s so petty.

And no, it never manifests as criticism, it’s “WE SHOULD VOMIT ON JOHN GREEN AND HIT HIM WITH NEWSPAPERS”. What the Hell?

People are allowed to disagree on appropriate behaviour.

johncougar:

weirdvvolf:

papauera:

lofticri3s:

image

This was recorded by the Portsmouth Sinfonia in an experiment where all the members of the orchestra would swap instruments with each other and attempt to play them to the best of their ability.

favorite things about this

  • literally all the brass starts to get the hang of it and then the crescendos happen and everyone is like FUCK FUCK FUCK??? FUCK. JUST. BLOW RLY HARD.
  • the strings are lazy but also the same. like u can tell a lot of the ppl w/ the stringed instruments may already basically know how to play stringed instruments. like there’s definitely a section at the beginning where you hear a good portion going “oh yeah this is like. a smaller/bigger version of what i do.”
  • all you hear of any woodwinds is just “pffffttt??? pFFFTTTT???? PFFFFFTTTT I SAID PFFFFTTTT!!!!!” bc woodwinds are fucking HARD and you hear after like the first crescendo half of them just give up. they give up. they’re done. fuck this it tastes weird and my lips hurt.
  • that trumpet. that person is fucking TRYING man they fucking GOT this. they may not have figured out notes but they figured out LOUD and they GOT this.

I JUST DIED